i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
