the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
