My sheets look like a crime scene.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
