he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
