Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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