I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
