Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
