This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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