hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
