I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
