I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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