i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I pour the whiskey from now on
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
