therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You ruined the universe
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
