Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
