you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
