I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize