I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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