why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
