i permit you to call me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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