This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
