She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
