There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Randomize
