is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
3pm strippers are depressing
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
