Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't deserve a penis
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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