I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
