I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
