I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
