check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
