Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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