she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
