apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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