I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
