it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
