The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you had me at cake vodka
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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