we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize