Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
