I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
