I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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