Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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