You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think your dad took our porno
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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