Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
