note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
