you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
