People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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