Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
