this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
