ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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