dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
