you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
