u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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