I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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