his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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