I heard we made out
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize