This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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