people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
