Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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