maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
