wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
