Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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