a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
