No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
