Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
