Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
