i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
