That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
