Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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