The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
