And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
