where am i from again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
