Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
